


Oh.

by Soyverin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Heartbreak, Romance, Sad Ending, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27437248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soyverin/pseuds/Soyverin
Summary: Why does this always happen to you? Is this some sick punishment for your sins? For once you thought that someone might actually like your pathetic ass. Your gross face. The funny way you talk. Your density.Oh the magic of missing social cues.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Oh.

Why does this always happen to you? Is this some sick punishment for your sins? For once you thought that someone might actually like your pathetic ass. Your gross face. The funny way you talk. Your density.  
Oh the magic of missing social cues. 

He flirted with you. He did. Everyone even confirmed it for you. You weren’t alone. This wasn’t an assumption.Haha the pathetic thing is, you even started flirting back. You should’ve known it was a joke. It was platonic. It was *nothing*. You should’ve known someone as amazing as that would be taken already. 

The worse part is that you told your friends. You rambled on. Panicking, dropping hints,talking about them, being flustered. Well you weren’t exactly sure you liked them yet......It was too late when you found out you did. You *really* did. You liked him so much. You screamed and squealed. You’d spend your whole day just.. talking to him. It felt so natural and nice. Knowing things about him and he you. 

Guess you really find the worth in stuff when you lose it, huh.  
This is why you don’t hope for things.  
Everything goes wrong.  
This is why you think the worse in people.  
So when they are the worst, the dont DISAPPOINT you.

God..it felt so NICE to be happy with them. To talk and flirt.

He told you he’s taken though. It was sort of like the world crumbled apart. He flirts with everybody. You're not *special*. 

Because maybe, just MAYBE. You could have what all your friends seem to have. The loving looks and tender touches. The feeling that to just one person, your their world. You could be something special and desired. Like a flame, drawing in a moth. Someone you can rely on. Someone you can be affectionate with and share memories. Someone.....

But no. Of course not. How could it,when you could never be that way to someone? You're broken. You're a whiny little piece of shit. You're AWFUL. You have a pretty nice life now. So why do you feel this way? Why are you like this? Why can’t you be loveable?

Even fucking Jane has someone! And Dave. And Rose. And John.  
THE LIST GOES ON.

Maybe you can try and subdue yourself with fluffy romance. Pretend your the main protagonist. Though it ends up making you feel WORSE. So of course you just fucking pick up some heartbreak angst. And sob on the couch while you pray Dirk doesn’t come in.  
But you know he won’t.  
He never does. 

You look at yourself in the mirror. When did this all go wrong. You’re smeared mascara. Your usually perky blonde hair now messy and greasy. The puffiness and red of your eyes. The sunken expression on your face.  
You don’t think you could bring yourself to smile even if you could. Your too tired.

How could you get so attatched to someone in a matter of days?

You don’t want to tell your friends about what happened. How they’re taken. Especially when they convinced you he likes you. Ha. What a joke. 

The thing that scares you is that you want someone to FEEL your pain.  
The ache in your chest, the restricted breathing. The heaviness in your body. The tiredness in your eyes. All of it. And more. You want someone to be as lonely as you. Or that what you feel like.

You usually love romance. You play matchmaker. You help people with their relationships.Give them advice and what not. Your seen as someone with no problems. How wrong they are. Well, you suppose they’re pretty pathetic. It doesn’t count.

Maybe romance just isn’t for you. Yeah that must be it.  
Maybe you’ll just slap an aromantic label on yourself, even though you want love...so fucking bad. God.

Maybe you don’t actually want romance. Maybe it’s just the idea of being cherished. 

Haha you're really fucked up.

Oh well.

Guess you’ll just down another martini and hope tomorrow doesn’t come. 

Sobbing into your pillow until the morning comes.


End file.
